I was just accepted into college after a long, hard life of praying and working my ass off.
I was late getting into college—it wasn't immediately after high school (and due to family circumstances, I never finished high school, either). But, after faxing our transcripts around, calling and e-mailing people incessantly, and doing basically a lot of needless worrying, after starting this blog I began to see some sort of improvement.
Some of you might of remember that last month, March the 19th, the alleged Supermoon passed. Now, I remember seeing it in a news article on the internet, so I wanted to find out more about it. If the moon was really gonna be that huge, that would be perfect for spell casting.
The news said the moon was supposed to be 30% bigger to the human eye. Naturally, I was imagining it like this:
Also, naturally, I should stop playing video games.
I was still excited about the prospect of a Supermoon (even if I wound up dead), so I told my girlfriend about it. She seemed enthusiastic, so after I had finished being lazy on the computer, we grabbed a few choice items (mainly pen, parchment, the mini-cauldron, and a lighter) and headed on outside.
First of all, let me explain this: at the moment, we're doing a lot of moving around before school starts in September. At the moment, we're in Nova Scotia, Canada, though we both had just come from Texas in the United States. So, the first thing we get is hit in the face with bitch cold air. Luckily, the girlfriend and I are both pretty weather immune, so its not the cold that decided to make this particular casual ritual difficult.
I f***ing hate lighters.
But my girlfriend is different. She can just sit there and play with her lighter all damn day.
So we go outside, in the cold, and head over to a conveniently placed tree stump right in front of a perfect view of the Supermoon... which was disappointingly not all that super. But! Who am I to tell the newscast they're wrong? At least now it doesn't look like its going to eat me.
We set the mini-cauldron on the stump, and we get to work. The ritual was to write down the things holding us back from success, and to bur them away in the cauldron, and recite a small line until the parchment had completely burned out. It was simple, and assuming things went well, effective.
But nothing in life is ever easy.
First, the f***ing pen wouldn't write. Granted, we were trying to write on our backs, and then on the textured stump of the bark, but damn it! Eventually, after multiple tries we finally just imagined the words on the parchment, and then stuffed them into the cauldron.
And that's there the fun began. Since I'm completely incompetent at using a lighter, I decided to let my girlfriend be in charge of lighting things ablaze.
I didn't realize how windy it was until she started.
[ AFTER SEVERAL ATTEMPTS ]
Me: … Its not working, is it.
Girlfriend: … [ clicking away ] …I got this.
Me: … [ watches the clicking ] … [ attempts to block wind, cup hand, EVERYTHING SHE CAN THINK OF ] … Its not working.
Girlfriend: >:| [ probably miffed her pyro skills have been destroyed by wind ]
Me: We look like creepers just hunched out here over a damn stump. [ looks around] Lets go under the awning and try lighting it on fire.
And we did. And it worked, thank god. Both of us shuffled back outside, trying to keep the fire from going out, and set the cauldron o the stump to burn away the parchment. As it did, I chanted the spell repeatedly, until there was nothing left but ashes.
We headed inside after that.
After we did it, I wondered if it was worth going out in the middle of the night, in the blistering cold, when the moon wasn't nearly as super as it looked, but you know what?
It was, in the end.
And now I'm finally going to school.