For people who have wondered where I've been the past couple of months, here is your answer. Job hunting. Still. Oh, and of course wallowing about in my own depression.
"Why does no one want meeeeee."
Which feels true. There are days when I sit and seriously wonder who did I piss off? Well, you know, other than the hex that my girlfriend's grandmother put on me. A part of me wonders if this is some kind of frutation of this event. But, like a good University Witch, I decided to attempt to remedy my rut in various ways.
1. Cleaning. We started cleaning up the apartment with Lore in an attempt to stir up any built up negative energy. It certainly felt good, at least, but its not going to get the bills paid.
2. Keep searching. Though blind ads or online applications (I have no idea how many I've filled out or how many resumes I've turned in), I merely kept putting it in (and looking through my email, I was on average sending out 3 applications a day!
4. When all else fails--
One of my recent endeavors was going to a pleasant little shoppe in Dallas called The Labyrinth, a metaphysical shoppe that my friend Kieran and I will visit from time-to-time on Saturdays. A couple of weekends ago, we gazed at the candles and I spotted one that looked like could do the trick for my dilemma. The color and label caught my eye:
[Prosperity OOH LA LA SHINY CANDLE]
...No that... wasn't the actual label but, its an accurate representation of my thought process as I reached with entranced, child-like eyes for the yellow-and-green candle. Since I was unfortunately broke, Kieran was kind enough to buy it for me in an attempt to boost my good fortune.
Now, I have nothing against their candles. In fact, I purchased one about two week prior to that one--a beautiful white one with the label [Visions] across it that worked wonders for the dreams I was attempting to decode. However, this particular candle didn't seem to do anything for me, as pretty and good-smelling as it was.
Those two weeks passed and still no job.
I was coming up close to my third solid month of being unemployed. That's when we started really cleaning up the apartment in an attempt to cause some havoc... or rather, disperse it.
While I was cleaning out the bedroom, I pulled out a strange handful of stuff. A quarter, a dime, a nickle.... and a small plastic bag with a stone inside. I stared at it blankly before I realized what it was--a Goldstone, which is known for "creating prosperity from nothing", in a tribute to alchemists from times past.
I held the stone in my hand quietly, staring at it.
There are times when you feel like all hope is lost. But then there are small moments that make you feel... maybe things will be all right.
...If I was the type, I would have perhaps started crying.
Out of relief, of course.