Wednesday, 5 October 2011

16th Spell - The Horrors of the Cauldron Starter

There's a monster in my kitchen.

Its been there since Saturday night, sitting there innocently on the countertop, as if it just belongs there. As I tend to stay out of the kitchen (as it is the Kitchen Witch, Lore's domain), normally, I am left undisturbed by the beast, as long as I keep close to the entrance and dare not wander towards the oven or microwave area. Not that I would want to.

I would be breathing the same air.

My own morbid curiosity keeps me going into the kitchen to spare a glance towards it. Lore is the only one who can tame the creature. She has to feed it everyday, or else... it will die.

"Let it die," I grumble as Lore leaves her place close to me in order to feed it. I was crestfallen that I had mentioned the time last night ("Wow, its almost eleven!"), and my red-headed companion rose, quickly, to feed it.

"It needed to eat at 10:30," Lore stated, and moved into the kitchen.

"It needed to die at 10:30," I muttered under my breath, pouting towards the screen of my computer. Lore luckily didn't hear me. I tapped the side of my Toshiba laptop in thought. I could heard her rummaging around, pulling out its food. Gods. Was it truly necessary to keep it alive?!

"Wanna watch me feed it?" She asked from the kitchen. I could almost hear the grin in her voice. She knew. She had to have known; it disgusted me.

"No," I called back in a pointed tone. I may have even stuck my tongue out in her direction. I don't remember. "No, I don't. It stinks."

And it did. The beast reeked. Every time I wandered past the kitchen area, just a smidgen into its domain, it would fight back, assault my senses with its overwhelming stench. While Lore had been napping, I walked just shy of it, and when I caught its stench, my body reacted: I swung at it, mercilessly, beating the ever living pungent out of its invisible stick-army.

[ Insert gratuitous flowing combat hair ]

However, my curiosity had gotten the better of me once again. At Lore's offer to watch her feed the beast, I ended up pulling myself away from the couch tentatively. I padded to the kitchen, peeking over her shoulder just as she paused by the counter, grasping a hold of its cage, and unleashed it.  


It was...!

"It's breathing!" I let out, and instantly shrank back as the monster unleashed a bubbling pop from the bowels of its chunky, porous flesh. Lore let a smile pull on her face as she started scooping the monster out from its cage, and I watched with wide eyes as it stretched out, long and just, ugh. Gross. "You have to feed that thing?"

"Yeah, or it'll die," Lore stated, slopping parts of the monster into a plastic bag. I watched her with morbid fascination as she explained. "...If you let it sit without food for too long, it'll die. It eats flour. So, I hafta scoop some out," She did so whilst explaining, "And toss it in here, and then, refill the rest of the bowl with fresh flour so it can feed on it."

"That..." I let out, backing out of the kitchen. "...Is gross."

"The best part," Lore told me later, "...Is that its used to make really awesome pancakes and cinnamon rolls. Gives it flavor. But hey, think about it this way. You feed it, and in turn, it feeds you."

"Oh yes," I stated from over the ice cream I had been eating. "...That sounds lovely." Gods, I hate yeast.

Despite my best intentions to keep the beast Lore affectionately named "Len" out of my head, I had dreams of the monster gumming at my feet.

EDIT: (10/7/11)
I walked into the kitchen today in order to start putting away the dishes. The container the beast was in, as I walked innocently by, f**king exploded. EXPLODED out of its container. I screamed (kind of? It was more like a squeal-yelp-howl... thingy) and ran out.

It was reaching out to grab me with its arms, dammit!


 Happy Samhain/Halloween!

1 comment:

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And I have to feed it again at 2am.